


As if Increase of Appetite Had Grown by What it Fed on

by mz18



Series: The Increase of Signs [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Autistic Julian Bashir, Bathroom Control, Bondage, Dom Julian Bashir, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, M/M, Spanking, Sub Elim Garak, Watersports, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mz18/pseuds/mz18
Summary: During a scene with his partner, something unexpected happens, which leads to Julian and Garak exploring a new aspect of their dom/sub relationship.Can be read as a stand-alone or can be read as part of "The Increase of Signs"; would take place at the end of Chapter 15 and before Chapter 16.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Series: The Increase of Signs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145288
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Garak was fully unclothed, supporting himself on the Doctor's desk, his hands gripping the edge of the wooden surface and he held himself in this position, bent forward, his back to the Doctor. Garak's breaths were slow and deep; his Doctor came and checked on him, and was apparently content with his partner's state. Garak felt his role keenly, and the position he held strengthened this situation powerfully – he was exposed, vulnerable, at his Doctor's mercy. And that was the wonderful tension of this situation, that was what he wanted so very desperately – his Doctor would never take advantage of this situation, of his desires, and each scene reaffirmed this for Garak and he was learning to trust this, to fully trust and relax into this role, finding his drop into this space coming more and more easily, and only increasing in its strength. He embraced the contradictions of it, of his selves and roles, revelling in his sensation.

He felt the Doctor's presence behind him, unmoving. 

“Elim.”

“Yes, Doctor.” 

“Do you wish for me to touch you?”

“Please, Doctor.” He sighed. 

There was something satisfyingly symmetrical about this side of their relationship – he enjoyed the strict ritual and routine of their scenes and the discoveries which could take place within them. 

“Doctor, I beg you.” His voice was shaky. “Please, use your hand against me.”

“Why, Elim?”

“You are the only one who can do this, who can give me this.” 

His muscles quivered and he felt how slick he was becoming in anticipation. Indeed, the anticipation had lasted the entire day, beginning with his Doctor's orders to him about how he was to present himself, followed by ablutions and submitting himself to a rigorous examination afterwards. The Doctor had continued to remind Elim of his control over him, willingly given, and he had once more experienced the strange doubling that came with this, the peacefulness inside himself paired with an undercurrent of arousal, which had been present throughout the day, artfully concealed at work. 

Garak felt the Doctor leaning over him, his breath against his scales.

“Very, very good. I need to make sure you never forget that. What is your safe word, Elim?”

“Invoices.” He body tingled, being conditioned to associate each of these familiar steps with intense pleasure. He shivered as the Doctor slid his palm over his back, down to his backside.

“What are you to do, Elim?”

“To count backwards and thank you for each stroke.”

The Doctor made an appreciative noise.

“You behave so well for, Elim.” 

He felt warm at this. It did not matter how many times his Doctor praised him, it never failed to have this effect on him, making him want to obey him utterly, to succumb and relinquish all his control. His mind was already becoming pleasantly blurred at the edges, a sure indication that he was falling hard into this space.  
The Doctor struck him with his hand; Garak counted and thanked him. As the Doctor continued to strike his backside, increasing the power behind each one carefully, Garak felt a sudden warmth and wet on his thigh. He did not pay this much mind – it was usual for his arousal to be quite high at this point. He waited for the next stroke but inexplicably the Doctor had ceased his movements and was instead coming to his side, speaking to him in his usual tone of voice. Garak was bewildered, his mind struggling to work how it typically would, not wanting to leave the pleasant state engendered by their scenes.

“Elim, love, I think we need to pause for a bit, you – appear to have lost some control of yourself.”

Julian had found a towel and bending close to his partner, pressed it against his thigh and crotch. Garak focused on the situation and as he returned to himself somewhat, he realised that what he had mistaken for signs of his arousal had actually been a spurt of urine escaping from him. He struggled to say something, trying to process how he was responding to this. 

“It's alright, Elim, this happens sometimes as a reaction to spanking, it is just a physical reaction. I imagine you would like to shower to clean yourself properly?”

Garak did not move, not wanting to come out of his position over the desk and he enjoyed how Julian attended to him, reminding him of the aftercare he would bestow on him, his body sore and sated, his mind empty and free. He tried to concentrate on his body, to assess if he had been neglecting it, which happened often during these times; he was not experiencing any discomfort and found that though he now certainly needed to relieve himself, it was not pressing or unpleasant, and furthermore, he did not experience any embarrassment or distaste over what had just occurred. It intrigued him and he needed to make the Doctor understand this.

“Doctor.” He managed to enunciate. “Do I have permission to speak?”

“Of course, Elim.” The Doctor's concerned look had not yet faded and Garak wanted to remedy this.

“May I ask if I am allowed to continue?”

“To continue?” He felt the Doctor's eyes searching him, checking. “If you wish to attend to yourself and then resume our scene, I would be more than happy to.”

“Doctor, if I may -”. He gathered himself together, the edges of uncertainty and anxiety creeping in. “If it is not – no, that is wrong, if it is also appealing to you, could we continue now?”

The Doctor looked at him, curiosity now evident in his brown eyes. 

“I need you to be specific for me, love. Are you saying you wish to continue this without pausing to refresh yourself first? You wish to continue and you are aware that you may lose further control of yourself?”

Garak nodded.

“Why? You have to tell me.” 

Garak understood his partner needed to be reassured that he was in the right headspace, and was not asking for something he would be worried about giving him. 

“I – did not find it unpleasant.”

“Oh.” The Doctor responded softly, disposing of the towel he still held and rose to his feet, taller than Garak. “You wish to continue because you could lose control of yourself?”

He inclined his head.

“No, you have to say this out loud, Elim.” The Doctor's voice had changed, returning to the firm tone which undid Garak so easily. 

“Doctor, please.” He was so helpless in this moment, barely able to process the combination of sensations, aching, being bent in submission before his Doctor, actively asking him to continue so that he might be allowed to lose complete control over himself.

“Elim, we will need to discuss this afterwards.” His voice softened for a moment. Garak agreed to this and then returned to begging his Doctor; he had not failed to notice that this situation was of interest to him too, perceiving the outline of his Doctor's erection through his trousers. He trembled, his muscles sore, and now he was intensely aware of his need for relief in more than one area.  
The Doctor resumed his position behind him and Garak waited; then he hit his partner's backside, hard, raining down a fast series of blows against his scales. Garak scrambled to remember to count and thank his Doctor. They paused and the Doctor approached and gently kneaded his muscles, whispering words of praise to him which caused Garak to flush, in reaction to his own need for such soft words.  
They resumed and this time the Doctor wielded a paddle, delivering harder strokes, establishing a more rocking pace as he brought the paddle down again and again, his skin beginning to sting, the pain blooming through him, and he struggled to focus and enunciate the necessary thank yous. As the Doctor hit him with particular force, Garak felt a sudden rush of wet and realising what was happening, his body clenched, cutting off the flow once more. He gasped, his whole body throbbing, over-sensitive. The sound of his water hitting the floor had been utterly indecent to his ears and he had caught the Doctor's own sharp intake of breath, a delighted gasp, which only heightened Garak's state. 

The Doctor's voice was ragged at the edges, as if he was barely restraining himself from panting.

“Your reflexes kicked in Elim, I need you to go against them. I want to see you lose complete control. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

The Doctor resumed his spanking, the pace faster again, and Garak cried out as the cumulative effect of these loving strokes sent him further away from himself. The Doctor was speaking to him and he was no longer able to understand a great deal of it, he himself knew his ability to speak had temporarily left him, and as he dropped his head, succumbing to this wordless place, he relaxed and sighed deeply as he sensed his bladder release; what had been only a couple of spurts was now replaced by a flow, the warm stream licking down his legs, spilling across the floor. He heard the Doctor moan behind him, and as he stood, lost in the sensuousness of this sensation as his stream continued, the Doctor stopped striking him, and placing his hand in Garak's shoulder for support, he began to fist his cock with the other.

“Oh, Elim, you have no idea how gorgeous that was.”

The flow tricked away and stopped, and Garak felt the wetness clinging to him, saw the puddle underneath him, and felt completely helpless, and he knew the Doctor would tell him what to do next, would praise him and life seemed very simple and clear in that moment.

“You just let go, Elim, you were so good.” The Doctor's voice was stuttering, broken up by his jerking hip and hand movements. “Would you like to do that, Elim, to let go, on my order, when I tell you?”

“Yes, Doctor.” He scarcely whispered. He could hardly stand now but continued to hold himself up as the Doctor had not yet given him permission to do so. It did not take long for the Doctor to reach his orgasm, Garak feeling the wet strips of his cum hitting his back, luxuriating in this further layer of pure debauched sensation, whilst also fearing what anxiety or uncertainty could take hold of him in the aftermath of this experience. 

-

Later that evening, after he and Julian had cleaned the floor, and then had bathed together, his partner brought him to bed, gently attending to his scales, ensuring the broken skin was looked after. He caressed his body, moving over his limbs, his back, his neck, talking quietly about what he had enjoyed about today. Garak knew Julian was circling the topic slowly, not wanting to wrongfoot him, but Garak was also aware that they needed to talk about it. It still remained the most difficult aspect of this part of their relationship, the explicit articulation of his desires and the opposite, that which he did not want, specifying and naming his boundaries. Yet, as much as Garak struggled against his conditioning and upbringing in this manner, it did reassure him, knowing that Julian would never be satisfied with proceeding in their activities unless he was fully convinced Garak was truly certain about wanting something. It was an ongoing negotiation, subject to regular revision, incorporating new ideas and games but this was the biggest change to have arisen since they had agreed to exploring their roles outside of the bedroom. 

“Elim.” Julian was on his side, head propped up on his hand, looking at his partner. “I know that today it all happened in the moment, but did you enjoy it, did you enjoy losing control of yourself like that?”

He felt himself freezing, a part of him still instinctively covering his reactions for fear of giving someone too much information which could be used against him. Except this was not someone, this was Julian. “I did, my dear. I cannot give a rational explanation as to why but I did.” He swallowed, vulnerable before his partner, and not in a way he wanted to be necessarily.

“You do not need to give a rational explanation for what you enjoy.” Julian's voice was soft but insistent. “Can I ask you some questions about it?”

Garak nodded, and Julian accepted this wordless response, knowing not to push him.

“What aspects of it were pleasurable to you? Did you enjoy that I was watching you whilst you wet yourself like that?”

He nodded once again. It wasn't a response to make the question go away, it was true, having the Doctor watch whilst he lost control of himself in this manner had been part of what he had appealed to him, the helplessness. 

“However.” He said with some hesitancy. “I – you are fully aware that I have no interest in being degraded. Is it a contradiction for me to enjoy this without wanting it to be a humiliation of some kind?” He was always so uncertain in these moments and looked to his partner to reassure him.

“Not a bit, Elim.” His eyes were fond, a small smile touching his mouth. He always enjoyed hearing him talk like this, and this smile and reception was almost an echo of his words of praise to him earlier. “A lot of submissives enjoy some kind of play in this area because it so clearly feeds into the roles we both occupy, and heightens the sense of powerlessness you like so much. I would never use this as a way to humiliate you, I want to give this to you in the way that suits what it is you want from it.”

“It is – it is almost an extension of when I have to request permission from you to use the bathroom, and you refuse before granting it, it is this delay, and then knowing I can only then fulfil this very personal need on your command. It is -.” His throat clicked drily as he struggled to continue. “it is very pleasurable in those moments, relieving myself, thinking of how I am only able to do so because you allowed me to.” 

Julian's eyes had darkened at these words, interest and arousal making them somewhat hazy. “That's good, love, that's what I need to know. So, it would be of interest you to incorporate this somehow into our play, our roles?”

He nodded. “It would appeal very much to me.”

“However, as a medical professional, I feel I have to say at the outset, I will not be comfortable with refusing you relief until you can no longer physically hold it in, this will bring about certain damage, so I am afraid I won't agree to this.”

“My dear.” Garak wanted to respond to this, and clarify. “Even if it was not off the table due to your professional scruples, I have to say, this is not what I would want in any case. Losing control in this context is too akin to, well, to certain methods of coercion exerted in order to extract information.” He did not elaborate further on this; his partner understood. “It is losing control only due to the failure of the body's systems. What I want is your control, Julian.” His voice had descended to a whisper now but he continued on. “Your control, to obey your orders, not to be helpless against myself, but to be helpless in your hands. It is the fact that I could continue to hold on if I wished to, but that if you order me to in those moments I would then release on myself.”

“Oh, beautiful, Elim, yes, I can understand that because it is a turn on for me to know all I have to do is say so and you would wet yourself for me.”

“I do have one qualification though, my dear. I would not want to be clothed. Soiling my clothes does not appeal to me in the slightest, I am afraid.”

“Then we will not do that.” Garak still could not fathom how easy Julian made this, he was so happy to be told specifically and in detail what he did not want to do, it almost pleased him as much as hearing what he very much wanted to do.

“However, Elim.” Julian continued, as if struck by something. “Initially, you lost control of yourself unconsciously today, due to the effects of the spanking. I already mentioned that this happens sometimes in response to this sensation. So that did not happen on my order.”

“No, you are quite correct in this. However.” He sought the best way to articulate this as it had a great deal to do with what it was that made him wish to inhabit this submissive role and not just this one specific act. “I was so deep in that space which I often reach during our sessions together, where I cannot do anything, I cannot speak, I cannot understand your words, I am absolutely helpless. It is as if I have given my body and my self up to you in those moments and I have nothing to do with it. It is such a liberation, Julian dear, what it gives me. And that somehow became part of it. Again, it was not that my body failed, that it was painful and unpleasant and I could no longer hold it. It was simply that I had no connection to my body in that moment and it did not matter because I was in your hands. It is simply another form of pleasant release, a sign of how deep I am in my role.”

“Elim, when you talk like this I'm not sure you know how wonderful it is for me.”

Garak smiled slightly in return, still somewhat shocked and uncertain about the words he had allowed to emerge from his mouth. When they had begun this part of their relationship, he had not the faintest idea how far it would take them.

“What if I ordered you to kneel for me, naked, and then ordered you to go right where you were positioned?” 

He felt heat in his neck ridges, in his lower abdomen and he did not know how to respond.

“What if I do not allow you privacy on those days, what if we begin our day by my ordering you to spread your legs and relieve yourself as I watch you?” 

“Oh, please, Julian, Julian.”

He raised his free hand and brushed his fingers over his exposed neck ridge. Garak leaned into the touch, enjoying the quiet intimacy of this moment, made possible only by being built on years of love and trust. 

“I am loathe to spoil such an atmosphere, dearest.” Garak began. “However, there are some practical issues we will have to consider.”

“Clean up shouldn't be too difficult, it wasn't today.”

“Yes, but I would prefer if we could ensure to avoid getting the furnishings wet, if that is amenable to you.”

“Of course, Elim, we will be careful about such things.”

“You don't -.” He fell silent.

“I don't what?” Julian encouraged him.

“You didn't experience any distaste at what happened today? At having to clean it up?”

“Elim, you might be shocked by this but it was rather the opposite.”

Garak had long been aware that his partner's relationship to his body was quite different to his, and that he explored this, and the world, in a much more visceral, sensuous way, enjoying touch, smell, and taste navigating things with his fingers and tongue.

“Julian, do you mean to say that everything about it was arousing to you, even the scent itself?”

“Oh yes, the scent, the wetness, indeed, I was also imagining the taste of it too, and if you had no objections I would also like to try this the next time.”

“Julian, but why?” It wasn't an expression of disgust but as Julian had predicted, one of shock.

“Because, Elim, you are mine, that is why and I want all of you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Garak sat in his study, the curtains closed, several padds spread across the table in front of him, lit only by a single lamp's soft pool of light. His eyes were swollen again, a mixture of the seasonal dust storms currently raging through the city and his recent inability to sleep. 

“Elim.” 

He turned to find Julian standing in the doorway, the yellow light further heightening the warmth of his hazel eyes. Perching on his desk, he bent his head to examine the padds his partner was reading. 

“Love, the war trials are incredibly important but you do need to try and sleep.”

“I am afraid sleep has eluded me recently. Instead of staring uselessly at the ceiling in the dark, I thought I could do something productive.”

“Is it productive though?” Julian's voice was not unkind and yet Garak's body tensed at these words. 

“Please, Julian, I know you are concerned but it is an occasion when I need you to leave me to this.” 

He needed to confront himself with these reports, this testimony, the list of crimes, the dead, and the missing, the damage and destruction to Cardassia and her people. He needed to confront himself with it, with his father's role in it, his own, and how they were to recover, to rebuild. 

“I would still prefer if you came back to bed with me and tried to get some rest.” There was no insistence in his voice, it was only an expression of what he felt himself, letting Garak know, nothing further.

“I am aware, my dearest.” He sighed. “I am afraid I am unable to put this aside.”

Julian squeezed his hand. “I will leave you to it. But you must allow me to take care of you in other ways.”

Garak inclined his head, knowing what his partner referred to. Continuing their roles outside of the bedroom, throughout the day, had been of immense help to him, grounding him and somehow enabling him to proceed with greater ease in the challenges which he faced and the heavy guilt which continued to weigh on him. He had never envisioned that something like this, which he had barely allowed himself to even entertain as an acceptable part of their sexual relations, could somehow spread through his life and play a completely non-sexual role also, granting him support in other ways. Julian had understood this, however, and so Garak acquiesced to the condition he made.

-

Morning came, harsh, the dull scratching and pattering of dust against their windows setting up an irregular rhythm. He had returned to bed very late, or very early, depending on how one considered it. Julian was up before him, however; he came to his side of the bed, standing over him.

“Elim. Are you going to let me take care of you?” 

Garak paused, not knowing how to answer. He wanted very badly to hand over his control to the Doctor but another part of him wanted to resist it, appalled at himself for being so weak, to even entertain these desires during such a time. The two parts warred with one another but need won out, and he nodded jaggedly. 

“You know I need you to say it.” 

“Yes, Doctor, I am.” He felt himself already beginning to drop, and a warmth uncoiled itself in his crotch, a strange mixed sensation at realising how instantly he reacted to his Doctor's tone of voice, his assumed role.

“Good. You are to get up, undress, and enter the shower but do not turn the water on.”

Garak assented and carried out these orders, his mind already suspecting what the Doctor had planned for him and his breath came quicker though he sought to control it.

Since their discussion, Julian had begun to play with this new interest, outside of their roles, just as Julian and Elim, attempting to normalise it, but also, Garak understood, to get him to associate the act of letting go on command with Julian's voice, to learn that it was acceptable to do so, although this was indeed a difficult taboo to fight against. Initially, Julian had joined him in the bathroom when he knew his partner was going to relieve himself, and, shocking Garak to his core, had bent down to kiss him, open-mouthed, tonguing him, whilst he emptied his bladder. The first few occasions, he had been too tense to even consider enjoying it but then something shifted, and the mix of Julian's mouth on his, or moving over his sensitive neck ridges combined with the sensation of hot liquid pouring out of him began to complement one another. It had only been a slight extension then when Julian had told him to hold it for a moment, and Julian had kissed him, his fingers moving between his legs and tracing along his folds, the need to void his bladder becoming obscenely delicious, and as soon as Julian had given him permission to he had let go in a gush, shocked to find himself moaning at the pleasurable feeling it engendered, squirming helplessly against Julian's insistent kisses and words of praise. 

This would be different, Garak sensed it already as he was being directed to the shower and he had not yet been given permission to do anything else.

“Sit, Elim.”

He carefully slid down until he was in a seated position. He watched as Julian crouched down to be on the same level as him, his eyes darkened and intent with arousal. 

“Bring your legs up and spread them for me.”

Garak obeyed, feeling vulnerable in the extreme as he kept his legs open, displaying himself for the Doctor.

“Wider.” His voice was low, and Garak would do anything for the Doctor when he used this tone of voice on him, and so he obeyed his command.

“Good. Good, Elim. You display yourself beautifully for me. Do you need to piss?”

Garak gasped. They had not used such direct words in relation to this so far, using softer terms or euphemisms. He understood now Julian had done this for his benefit, to not put him off, but now, in the moment, they would call it what it was. Garak was further surprised to find himself biting back a whimper of helpless pleasure at this. 

“Answer me, Elim.”

“Yes, Doctor, I do.”

“You do what, Elim?”

“I do need to piss.”

“Good, good.” He reached out and stroked his face. “Do you want to piss yourself for me?”

“Yes, Doctor.” His voice was shaky now. 

“You must wait for my order, Elim. Why?”

“Because I can only do so with your permission.”

His bladder was heavy, swelling increasingly as their dialogue continued, and he found he truly did, he truly wanted to let go as his Doctor watched him, wanted to enjoy the powerless sensation of only being allowed to piss when he was told and where he was told to do so. Part of him was uncertain and nervous to find himself in this position with his partner, yet another part of him was not – Julian had always been able to do this, to show him that words and sensations could have other feelings than what was prescribed or assigned to them traditionally. In Julian's world, they could take these things and fashion them to have their own private meaning, accessible only to them. In any other context, being told to piss himself on command would have been utterly without pleasure, an act of dominance or torture, but only Julian's hands and voice could make it an act of care, and even love. How much closer could they become? Garak wondered. What further intimacy could they reach or create? He did not know and for once, he experienced this lack of certainty and knowledge as a promise, rather than a threat to himself. His had been a strangely limited life in many ways, and Julian had not yet ceased to widen the small keyhole he had looked through into the world.

The Doctor observed him as he squirmed, shivering almost at the perversely enjoyable sensation of fulness and the anticipation of releasing it. 

“Doctor, please.” His voice was hoarse. 

“Yes, Elim?”

That tone of voice, unrelenting, Garak feared he would lose control of himself just at the sound of it. 

“Please, Doctor.” His voice nearly failed him. “Please, let me -”. 

“Oh, Elim, you've behaved so well for me. You are allowed to let go now. Piss for me.” 

He gasped at these words, at the feeling they induced in him, and he let his head drop towards his chest. However the Doctor suddenly took his chin roughly in his grip.

“Look at me, Elim.”

His chest rose and fell rapidly, and he fought against himself, making himself maintain eye contact with the Doctor as he began to feel hot wetness flowing out of him, the loss of control delicious combined with the Doctor's repeated words of praise to him. 

“Oh Elim, you are so good, look how well you obey me, how all I had to do was say one word and you just pissed yourself for me, how does that feel, to know I can do that to you?”

It felt like heaven. It felt like freedom. His stream continued and he wanted to groan at how good it was, and how it shouldn't feel this wonderful to be sitting and intentionally wetting himself, allowing the liquid to run over his crotch, pooling beneath him, swirling away.

“What are you thinking about, Elim?”

The Doctor always enjoyed doing this to him, knowing that in such moments he was far more likely to express uninhibited what desires or thoughts he experienced without the usual struggles and inhibitions he experienced. This time was no different and being aware that the Doctor knew precisely what he was doing further aroused him. 

“Doctor, I was thinking -”. He felt his bladder was nearly empty, trickling down to a slow, stuttering drip. “How it would be to be bound, to perform some task for you and this would be my reward.”

“Oh yes, Elim, I can see that.” His voice was low, husky, a caress. The Doctor released his hold on his chin, and dropping his hand, dipped his fingers into his partner's now-overly sensitive slit, and brought it to his mouth. Garak could only watch as the Doctor moved his tongue around his fingers, tasting him. His eyes had become hazy and dark, a tell-tale sign he was highly aroused. Knowing that the Doctor found his loss of control, his obedience, even the taste of his body and its fluids to be such a turn on always overwhelmed Garak – in his life, he could never have imagined being with someone who would take the idea of wanting to love everything about their partner so very literally and seriously. 

-

The next time, Julian waited until Garak had returned from another day at the war trials. He came in the door, weary, the courtroom clinging to him, the horrific stories retold, repeated by others, witnesses, those speaking for others who could not be there. Absently, he was aware he should be hungry as the Doctor had ordered him to fast during the day. However, though he was aware of it, he did not experience it as a need, viscerally, or as a need connected to him and that could be taken care of by himself. It was for the Doctor to know and to decide whether he needed something. He seated himself on the couch in their living room, absent-mindedly holding a padd, certain that he had had an intention or purpose in picking it up but he could not remember it now.  
The Doctor appeared in the doorway, and paused there, appraising the figure before him, then moved towards him, having made an assessment and immediate decision as to how to proceed. 

“Elim.”

“Yes, Doctor.” His tongue was fuzzy somehow. He was in the wrong position, he should be kneeling at hid Doctor's feet.

“Do you need anything? Are you hungry?”

He again searched himself, and sought to articulate this state to the Doctor. “I believe I could be but I am not sure.”

“But you do not want anything urgently?”

“Not until you say I can, Doctor.” 

He appeared to be satisfied with this answer and so Garak let himself drop further, reassured the Doctor was able to take care of him.

“Is there anything else you might require, Elim, hm?” 

He focused and could not pinpoint anything immediately. The Doctor bent down and pressed his fingers against his lower abdomen; dully, he realised he had neglected his body and that he needed to use the bathroom. 

“Doctor.” He shifted in his seat. “May I have leave to relieve myself?”

“No, you may not, Elim. I need you to wait and then you can ask me again.”

He sighed, feeling himself drifting, guided only by the Doctor's voice.

“Undress for me, Elim.” 

The Doctor took up position in a chair and regarded Garak as he removed his clothes methodically. In these moments, he did not quite enjoy his body in the same easy way the Doctor did, but it was the closest he would come. He stood, awaiting his next order.  
“Kneel for me, Elim.” 

Garak sank gratefully to his knees in front of him. This position placed greater pressure on his bladder, and having been told to wait to be able to request relief only heightened his awareness of his need and the Doctor's control. An ache began to move through his leg muscles as he held himself on display for his Doctor and he welcomed it, how it accompanied the insistent heaviness in his bladder, the need increasing as he thought about how much he wanted for the Doctor to tell him to piss himself and how much he wanted to demonstrate his obedience. 

After an unknown period of time had passed, the Doctor bent down to him. He always adored how it felt to have the Doctor above him in this manner, the difference in their positions.

“Well done, Elim, I can see you are trying very hard to hold your position to please me, and it does please me.”

He flushed at this, wanting more of the Doctor's words, his lower abdomen tingling and warm from his arousal combined with the full promise of his bladder.

“Your hands, Elim.”

He extended them to the Doctor wordlessly and watched his lithe fingers make quick work of binding his wrists tightly. 

“Doctor, do I have permission to speak?”

“Yes.” The Doctor lay back in his seat, admiring his work, taking in the sight of the Cardassian at his feet. 

“Doctor, may I have leave to use the bathroom?”

“No, Elim. I will let you piss but I will not let you use the bathroom to do so. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Doctor.” He sighed, grateful to the younger man. “Doctor, please, what can I do for you to please you?”

“You are always ready to please me, aren't you, always ready to do anything for me?”

He was thoroughly over-stimulated now, his tense leg muscles, the sensation of rope against his scales, and his pressing need and wish to let go in front of the Doctor, for him, all combining to send arousal lazily sweeping through him, an all-encompassing caress. 

“You are to suck my cock, Elim, and after that I will give you permission to piss yourself.”

“Doctor, thank you, oh, please.” 

The Doctor opened his uniform, freeing his hard cock, and he guided Elim's head down onto it, controlling his movements as he could not recourse to the use and support of his hands. As he moved his tongue over his cock, taking the Doctor further and further into his mouth, feeling his saliva leaking around his lips, he thought of how his needs were not subordinate to the Doctor's in this moment, but rather they were inexplicably somehow aligned, the same, in a way that most likely would not make a great deal of sense from the outside; but this was indeed the point, he was inside it, with the Doctor, and it was perfect for them.  
Garak recalled how the Doctor had once come upon him, at the very beginning of their journey into this part of their relationship, discovered him masturbating, and had given Elim to understand he could no longer indulge in such activities without his explicit permission. He had not exactly been punished for it, as Julian had feared coming to close to his partner's fear of somehow being degraded in this role; it had instead been a reminder, an exercise of the Doctor's power over him in his role, and the reminder had been accompanied by his loving, careful blows against his scales. What if, Elim found himself thinking, as his pace increased and the Doctor's hips began to twitch as he worked his length, what is they did something similar with this new part of their games together? What if he pissed himself on an occasion before the Doctor had given him permission to do? Would he remind him of his role and take his hand and instruments to him, striking the knowledge repeatedly into his body? What if he supplied these to him as he knelt or lay in the evidence of his own inability to control himself? He moaned around the Doctor's cock and he responded by tightening his hold on his head.  
It did not take long for Garak to bring the Doctor to orgasm, and he experienced a deep satisfaction at hearing his loud cries as he came into his mouth. The Doctor fell back, his hair in disarray, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his eyes fixed on Elim, sated, as if drunk still on their intimacy. Garak held his position, and felt drops of the Doctor's cum drying around his mouth, the scent of him so strong, causing him to remember the many other times they had lain together after their lovemaking. In a strange contradiction, his bladder now felt hard in its fulness. 

“Elim.” He saw the Doctor was struggling to maintain his role, he had been so undone by his partner's performance, and this was intoxicating to Garak. 

“Elim, you did so well, you behaviour is so very good. Elim, do you want your reward?”

“Please, Doctor.” 

“You have to thank me, do not forget that, Elim.”

Oh, he would, he hoped the Doctor knew he truly meant these thank-yous each time, that they were not simply stock phrases used in their roles. 

“Go ahead, Elim, piss yourself for me, right here.”

“Doctor, thank you, thank you.” He repeated; instantly, at the Doctor's words, his bladder had given an extra powerful twinge, as he now associated relief in this area with his voice. The evidence of this loss of control made him shiver. Then he simply let go, still whispering thank-yous as hot liquid burst from him, streaming down his crotch, making rivulets as it poured towards the floor, pooling around him. He heard the Doctor moan lowly in his throat at this, and Elim's pleasure was complete, his love for him too. Piss continued to pour out of him, the sound of it hitting the floor in the otherwise quiet room heightening Elim's sense of complete helplessness. The Doctor had recovered himself enough to give him repeated words of praise for pissing himself like this on his command and Elim felt thoroughly debauched and simultaneously cared for.  
As his stream began to weaken and slow, a sudden vision of something else he wished for entered his mind, and the Doctor leaned forward, taking his chin in his hand.

“What did you just think of, Elim? Your face changed, and fuck, whatever it was must have been beautiful.”

His bladder was finally empty and he felt the wetness cooling on him and around him. “Doctor, I was thinking -.” He swallowed thickly. “I was thinking how much I want you to piss on me.”

The Doctor studied him, searching his face and Garak understood why. The last time he had said something like this, he had come to his partner looking for punishment from him, wanting to be degraded and used, to atone somehow in whatever way possible for escaping punishment on Cardassia. Julian was right to be doubtful and it reassured him once again, and enabled him to be able to attempt to articulate what was different about his desire this time.

“Why, Elim? I need you to tell me.”

“Because Doctor, I want you to own me. I am yours, this has always helped me to feel more yours than ever. I want you to claim me, to mark me, that is why I want this.” 

“Fuck. Fuck, lie down, Elim.” The Doctor's voice was shaky but his movements determined. Garak inelegantly manoeuvred himself into a prone position on his back and the Doctor was immediately astride him, his legs pinning him on either side. This situation was a thorough turn-on for Elim, held by the Doctor, lying beneath him, looking up at him. Though he had requested to be unclothed himself during such games, he saw that this was not an issue for Julian and it excited him even further, realising exactly what his partner was going to do.  
Garak focused on Julian's face with curiosity as he wondered if he would see there a reflection of what expression his own face took on when he would begin to piss on his command. Julian's dark eyes were blown wide by this stage, and his face relaxed, taking on a slack and open aspect which much resembled his face when he orgasmed. Suddenly, his partner was pissing, the hot liquid pouring through his trousers, a large, dark wet patch shining there. The first hit of Julian's stream against his bare torso was a shock to him. Julian shifted then, moving, aiming his stream at his chest, the rivulets running over his shoulders and his neck ridges, electrifying him. Garak found himself imagining all the other ways they could incorporate this into their games and roles, how he would happily have Julian relieve himself on him in this way as a form of service he could provide his Doctor or could piss on him whilst he was fully bound or as the conclusion to a series of blows and strokes against his scales. The younger man leaned forward then and kissed him as he continued to cover Elim with the contents of his quickly emptying bladder, his role somewhat abandoned now, lost in the sensuousness of the moment. Once he had finished, he then shifted once more, and began to move his fingers in and out of his slit, finally allowing Garak release in this way too. 

-

Later that night, after Julian had attended to his partner and had cleaned the living room, they lay in bed together, naked, murmuring unimportant chat to one another, when Elim asked him:

“Julian how far can we go with this?” 

He knew the young man understood what he meant by this, that it did not refer exclusively to what had taken place today, but rather encompassed this, as well as the entirety of their relationship and what they had with one another.

“As far as you wish to, love, as far as you wish to, I will go there with you.”


End file.
